Sting was always my mom’s ideal man, which makes me wonder how she ended up with my swarthy, raven-haired, never-without-a-mustache (never seen him without a mustache, EVER), 6 foot 6, big-nosed, Syrian Jewish father. Not that my father isn’t a handsome man, but it’s hard to compete with those cheek bones.
I never gave a shit about Jamie Foxx. All I know he’s some sort of comedian/musician and has been featured on a shit ton of pretty dope rap songs. Last night I saw Django, and was blown away by his performance. He’s a freaking babe, and damn talented. It doesn’t hurt to have Leonardo DiCaprio and Christoph Waltz as costars either.
How is it possible Jon Hamm isn’t on Clambake yet?! I’ve been watching Madmen for a long time. One of the perks of living in LA is getting texts at 12 am from your blonde bombshell friend that go like this: "come meet meeeeee" "where are you?!" "i’ll pay for your cab, Jon Hamm just bought me a drink" But said friend is so drunk she in unable to realize she never disclosed her location.
Was alone for the first time during the holidays yesterday and felt like watching a mellow romcom so put on 500 Days of Summer. Completely forgot about this guy that totally makes Joseph Gordon Levitt look like a 5 in comparison. All I have to say is .. My. God.
If Jesus were alive today he would be just my type- long hair, beard, damn good carpenter. And my parents would be pleased he’s a good Jewish boy.
This Elvis Jesus is pretty sexy too. Happy birthday Jesus!
Side story, my friend and I used to refer to this dude we thought was hot as “sexy jesus” because we didn’t know his name, I can’t for the life of me remember the guy or which friend it was. I have a shit memory.
My new favorite band, the Allah-Las, formed right here in my (new) place of residence Los Angeles. They sound like a dreamy, day-drunk, day on the beach with your favorite Cali dude that makes you wonder if this is how your mom felt in the 60’s. They look as good as they sound (mmm hello middle left).
I’m realizing I have a HUGE thing for Harrison Ford. I know I already Clambaked him in Blade Runner but I started watching the Star Wars trilogy last night (I think it’s a necessity to rewatch it every 10 years). To quote the internet, Han Solo is “Self absorbed, egotistical, arrogant. Rough around the edges, very atheistic and survivalist at heart. A good guy hero persona waiting to come out (which does in the end).” Just my type.
I was pretty bummed to see Opie go on Son’s of Anarchy but I quickly forgot about my broken heart when Nero started coming around. He’s a sweet and sensitive thug. He’s also the smartest mother fucker on the show.
Also my favorite quote from the season finale-
Nero: ”I’m just saying, I just don’t know if I am going to be able to give you everything you need right now”
Gemma: ”And what is it you think I need? Love? Only men need to be loved sweetheart. Women need to be wanted“
Oh Bruce Willis, you make my lady parts tingle! I don’t think I’ve had such a long time crush on an actor since Chevy Chase (swoon). The ultimate macho man but with humor and sensitivity, and he just gets hotter year after year. Bruce Willis, you can be my meat popsicle any day!
Ok so basically Conner Youngblood is the perfect man. Here are snippets from his bio on last FM: “Conner was born and raised in Dallas, Texas and currently attends Yale University. He plays charango, ukulele, banjo, piano, and guitar. He plays around with accordion and harp. He wishes he could play bag pipes, sarod, and cello.” Smart and talented and really ridiculously good looking. I’ll admit he’s a little young for me but I could start the cougar thing a little early just for him. Here’s an awesome song by him on Spotify: Conner Youngblood – A Summer Song
We don’t really repeat dudes here on clambake (if only real life were like that), but I’m going to make an exception, especially because I recently moved to LA. I think I’ve turned into the female version of The Dude, no one is really sure what I do for work and I can be found in bathrobe/Navajo sweater til 4 pm. I’ve owned two dvds ever, and Big Lebowski is one of them (I’m not telling you the other). It’s one of my favorite movies. Jeff Bridges is so damn sexy. I seriously can’t decide between young Bridges and older Bridges. Can I just have both?